Du musst nur entscheiden, was Du mit der Zeit anfangen willst, die Dir gegeben ist ...
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The author is 46 years old and lives in a social environment that accepts her on her way as a transsexual woman and now as a woman.
During her hospital stay she found the opportunity to express herself in these poems. By her transgender surgery the internal forces became free, which enabled her, it to write these texts.
The poems are arranged not chronologically but according to their psychological development. This is going from the reclamation of her childhood traumata and the "coming out" of her true female self, beyond the transgender surgery up to the awareness of all her internal shares and hopes. Even if it seemed to be intractable she went trough her life once again with all injuries, the experience of physical, mental and sexual violence, to become aware of the backgrounds of her psychotic, neurotic and regressive shares within her borderline disorder and to see them as belonging to her. The poems also describe the departure from her great hatred and self-hatred and the commitment to love and self-love. Only this way enabled her to accept her faults imperfections and to feel joy.
In writing these texts she also recognized that in her life long distances were necessary in darkness and emptiness to see the light and the richness of life. However, she also knows, that her life-tasks have not only been tackled, but also will continue to engage herself with the deep-seated survival mechanisms of her childhood and the subsequent re-staging.
With these poems she wants to bolster the reader to take the necessary steps, that were previously suppressed or not realized, to ensure a happy and contented life. By these texts space is given to the reader for self-rediscovering or projection of his or her own trauma and to make them aware.
The author thanks her friends for their companionship or their own artistic works, which gave her energy and courage to write these texts.
She also thanks her therapists and doctors, which allowed her to live, to feel and to see as she is.
The collection of texts shall also be a gift for the affection and love, she experienced in her lifetime, especially from her woman and her children. This affection and love always gave her the power, to go further on her way . The poems shall mediate the hope, that there is always a way to and into oneself.
She wishes, that on their way her readers will meet this love and will be accompanied.
Bergisch Gladbach, November 2001
Liv Christiane Daria Göhner
Zitat 203(228):Die besinnlichen Tage zwischen Weihnachten und Neujahr haben schon manchen um die Besinnung gebracht.
Joachim Ringelnatz
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